Self-sabotaging is doing things that cause issues in your life or interferes with your long-term goals. It is quite problematic, and in my case, it went on for years. There are many self-sabotaging behaviors, but the one that wreaked the most havoc in my life was procrastination. All throughout college, I procrastinated. I believe I did this because I didn’t have a clearly defined vision for my life, so everything just seemed tedious. I knew that I wanted an English degree, but honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. Without seeing the big picture I was lost and afraid that if I moved forward, I would end up somewhere I didn’t want to be, so I procrastinated so much that my college career came to a halt. After dealing with some other contributing issues such as my mental health and immaturity, I stopped making excuses and self-sabotaging. Here’s how I did it:
I defined a clear vision for my life. After leaving college, I began working in human services. First, as a paraprofessional in a group home and then as a houseparent in a foster home. These jobs, along with my own personal experience with mental health, created a yearning in me to work in mental health. I’d been dabbling in writing from which came my idea for Kontently Kara, but I wanted to do more. So last year, while working both positions and still feeling like the things in my life didn’t align, I prayed for a vision. It didn’t come overnight, but within a few weeks, I was able to sit down and define specific goals and write an action plan for myself. I’ve accomplished some, and I’m still working on others, but I can see it all coming together. Being able to see my vision unfold has given me a sense of purpose. I get out of bed excited for each day and its infinite possibilities, unlike before, when my life was full of dread.
I gave up excuses. Before having a vision and feeling a sense of purpose, I made a lot of excuses. I didn’t feel well. Everything was too difficult. I was overwhelmed, and the list goes on and on. After having defined a vision and beginning to see it come to fruition, it is has been a pleasure to work hard for the things I want and feel purposed for. I see every challenge as a learning experience and a means of growth. In a recent conversation with my mom, she summed it up perfectly, “Your life is a reflection of your action or inaction.” At the end of the day, you can make all the excuses in the world, and they very well may be valid excuses, but are those excuses taking you forwards or backward? Are you self-sabotaging?