4 More Ways to Love Yourself as a Black Woman with a Mental Health Diagnosis

When I first began blogging, I wrote a post called 4 Ways to Love Yourself as a Black Woman with a Mental Health Diagnosis. It was published as a NAMI.org blog post in July 2019 for BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month. My tips included, find your affirmation, put yourself first, ask for help and protect your peace. Since then, I’ve survived a global pandemic and a major physical health crisis, both which impacted my mental health. To say the very least, my life has continued to evolve and I’m sure yours has too. Here is insight into four more ways to love yourself as a Black woman with a mental health diagnosis:

Celebrate Your Progress, Not Perfection

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea of having to be perfect or “fixed” to be worthy of love. Instead of making perfection your goal, focus on celebrating your progress, no matter how small. For me, learning to celebrate progress was difficult at first, but as it has become a habit, I’ve learned to value the progress I make in every area of my life. For instance, prior to my physical health crisis, I focused on getting to a magic number on the scale which sometimes meant getting discouraged and quitting my exercise regimen when the number on the scale was higher than I wanted it to be. I now am learning to put effort into exercising and eating more healthy no matter the reading on the scale. This is good for my health overall and it improves my mental health. Every step toward better mental health, self-awareness, and healing is a victory. Practical ways to celebrate progress, not perfection include reinforcing your worth and progress by journaling milestones, keeping a gratitude log, or even rewarding yourself for reaching small goals.

Create Boundaries Without Guilt

Often, Black women feel the need to be everything to everyone. Oftentimes, this results in being nothing to ourselves. Learning to set boundaries, especially when dealing with mental health challenges, is a form of self-love. Boundaries help protect your time, energy, and mental space. Whether it’s with family, friends, or work, creating boundaries is not selfish—it’s essential. You are your own best advocate. Practice saying “no” without guilt, and recognize that honoring your well-being is just as important as being available to others. Ways I’ve learned to create boundaries without guilt are using direct communication to address needs and issues within relationships, taking time to pause and think before responding to requests, and prioritizing my wellness above all else. At times, this has looked like ending a conversation or leaving a situation, in which I felt like my needs weren’t being met. Explore what this may look like for you and begin creating boundaries without guilt in your life.

Reclaim Your Narrative

As a Black woman with a mental health diagnosis, you may face societal and cultural narratives that make you feel boxed in or misunderstood. This can impact your view of yourself and how show up in the spaces you occupy both personally and professionally. Reclaiming your narrative means taking control of how you define yourself, and refusing to allow others to dictate your story. For me, it was about coming to the realization that I hold the pen and own the story that is being written. Reclaiming your narrative is not only about being sharing your story. It is also about how you perceive your story and the things you believe about who you are. Creative outlets such as writing, art, or speaking out about your journey are helpful and empowering, but there are alternative way. Reading about and engaging with others who have similar struggles and stories online or in support groups, taking a workshop or learning new coping skills and talking to a mental health professional are all great ways to reclaim your narrative. Empower yourself by embracing your truth, not the labels placed on you.

Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Weoften reserve kindness and understanding for others but neglect to offer the same to ourselves. Practicing radical self-compassion means showing yourself the same grace and empathy that you give to others. Practicing radical self-compassion for me has meant slowing down. For years, I felt as though I was rushing through life in an attempt to get back all the time I felt I lost to mental health challenges and immaturity. As I’ve grown and evolved, I’ve realized the importance of slowing down to enjoy this season of my life. When you make mistakes or feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can, and it’s okay to take a break or reset. Instead of engaging in negative self-talk, speak to yourself as if you are your very best friend– because you are. Self-compassion involves being kind to your mind, body, and spirit. Take a walk while listening to an inspirational podcast. Write down everything you are grateful for. Stop to smell the roses.

Implementing these four practices has improved my life tremendously. They have increased my confidence and allowed me to dive deeper into my purpose. It is my hope that these tips positively impact you as you navigate your journey as a black woman with a mental health diagnosis.